“It is frustrating! I feel like I am stuck in a rut and I am unable to get out of it.”
“Where is the frustration coming from?”
“I feel like I have these habits that I am unable to shake off. I sleep late, and so I miss my morning workout. And I work late so I can’t workout in the evening. And because I work late, I don’t sleep when I want to. This also means I rarely feel good about my nutritional habits either.”
“And is this a cycle that you can’t seem to break out of?”
“It is not just that I can’t seem to break this negative cycle, it feels like this cycle is because of who I am, and what I do. And I don’t think I am capable of changing this.”
“Do you think the current habits you have - sleeping late, waking up late, moving very little - were the habits that you have always had?”
“…. well, no.”
“Would you agree then that your habits were different before the current habits?”
“Yes I had different habits earlier.”
“So the habits you currently think of as default, are probably not default, would you agree?”
“Hmm.. sure.”
“If you realise that the habits you currently have are new, and ones you have grown into over a period of time, what makes you think you can’t grow into new - and better - habits over the next few weeks or months?”
The above is a condensed version of the conversations I have had with multiple online clients over the past few years.
If you’re struggling with your health, here’s a secret:
The people who have successfully improved their health are not very different from you.
In fact they’re people who have the same desires, the same insecurities, the same stresses, and the same goals as you.
There is however one big difference.
These people who have gone to successfully change the course of their health trajectory know one thing that people who fail don’t: They know they have the capabilities to change themselves. They know they have the wherewithal to facilitate change, and to take matters of health into their hands.
Some of the folks who fail at improving their health seem to fall prey to a common illusion:
The End of History illusion.
—
‘The End of History Illusion’ is - to paraphrase - the illusion where you assume that the current version of you is the final version, and that this is exactly how you will be moving forward for the rest of your life.
And it isn’t your fault for believing in this illusion.
Think back to when you last decided you didn’t want to do something, not because it was an impossible thing to do, but because you *assumed* you couldn’t do it because it was different from what you’re used to. Chances are you will find a fair few examples, especially if you’re 25+.
Take a look at some of the examples from your own life:
Right up until graduation it is drilled into you that what you study, where you study, what you graduate in is what you will do or end up doing for the rest of you life.
If you graduated as an engineer, you will work as an engineer, not as a doctor or a plumber.
The same holds true for marriage and kids - whether you want the two or not. It is a decision taken for good (in most cases).
If you married someone, chances are you will remain married until death.
Every life choice you make is seemingly setting the course for the rest of your life.
Each of these examples is leading you to believe that you will soon be a complete, fully developed, individual.
Is it any surprise then that people assume the same about their health and their bodies? That once they reach a certain stage, that is it, and that there isn't much they can do?
So how do you go about getting over this?
Look for examples elsewhere in your life: Work, Finances, Relationship etc. Chances are you have made changes and formed new habits over time that weren’t habits you followed earlier. If you can do it in one aspect, you can replicate it in a different aspect.
Understand that changing existing habits and routines will be challenging. It will require time and persistent effort. One step - however small it may be - towards a newer habit or routine is the way forward.
I can’t stress this enough: The actions you take are directly influenced by the identify you embody.
Those who identify themselves as constantly evolving beings will find actions - and words - to reiterate and reinforce that identity.
Those who believe they are incapable of change or growth will continue to act and speak in a manner that reinforces that identity.
Reiterate to yourself that you’re capable of change, and then follow it up with action to prove it to yourself.
One Suggestion - Have a recurring reminder to list all of the habits you’ve formed, improved upon, or replaced. A constant reminder that you’re a forever-evolving being.
One Question - Unless you’re physically incapable, how can you assume how you are as a person now, will be how you are decades from now?
PradTip - The best actions are the ones whose sole purpose is to give you clarity on what the next step needs to be.
Happy Sunday!